Coats and shame at the CIO night out. Don’t tell my family!

We all have coats. Some of us have lots of coats for varying different uses. The one thing we have in common through all this coat fragmentation is that we generally have coats that fit and that we generally recognise as ours. However, we have a member of the team who shall remain nameless, but I can reveal is Irish and was recently elevated to the position of CIO, who is little confused when it comes to the difficult task of wearing the right coat. He managed to put on a coat that belongs to Scott S, who recently joined us as the Scrum Master for Telematics, and went all the way home with it. I think it is fair to say that they are on different places on the size of human being spectrum. Here is a picture of him leaving with the wrong  coat on!
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The CIO event was informative and the evening very pleasant. Some of us took the opportunity to dress up a little in an attempt to impress. As you can see below Markos took his inspiration from the farming community whilst Stefan ‘The Hair’ decided that the cowboy Gigolo look was what was rocking the current season. Look
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At the evening event I was seated next to two people from completely different Scottish tribes, which was really interesting. One was from the Gorbals, I believe, whilst the other was from Morningside Don’t You Know. It was interesting to hear them attempt to commune, from one there was guttural violent explosions of noise whilst the other sounded as though he were from Surrey. I am not sure they really understood what the other was saying. Also I wasn’t aware there were so much diversity in Scotland, nor that they had hats to represent the different tribes. Anyway they had quite a bit to drink and then started to kiss each other which was nice.
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Towards the dying end of the evening I was approached by a very well refreshed gentleman who identified himself as an Architect and attempted to show me some boxes he had drawn on a napkin. I did try to escape his clutches but he became more and more excitable and started pulling out bits of paper from god knows where to show me. I suspect he had been at Scotland’s favourite wine based aperitif, for most of the evening. Anyway in the end I did get him to agree to leave me alone but as part of this agreement I had to do him a ‘favour’. He even managed to rope poor Finnie into this foul tryst.
Please don’t ever tell my family I did this.
The serious bit you might want to read
Wise words from Ivan Zero Defects…
One of the biggest hurdles in getting the best return on stories is the reliance on tools and documents, a legacy of a broken model that turns a gnatt chart 90 degrees and calls it a backlog. Too often I see the  “shared document” approach over the “shared understanding” approach, unless everybody that touches the story is involved in the “understanding” through conversations then we get escapes, bugs, rework and increased cost.  If the PO only appears at the demo saying “not that way”, developers make assumptions based on paper trails, testers raise bugs based  a slice of change that is now invalid then you failed on getting a “shared understanding”.

“agile does not come with a brain, bring you own!”

Got this very excitable email from Fen ‘fish’ Howieson this week that I thought I would share with you.
“Something very important happened last night!  I would think this is a first for Tesco Bank and if you hadn’t noticed, well to be honest nobody has noticed!
Well, some idiot decided that it would be just as easy to build a brand new instance of GI MicroSites (Loadbalancer and 3 Web Servers), deploy the new SHA2 certificate, switch DNS (Unfortunately, the time taken by Group to arrange the DNS switch took the shine of the whole thing for me) without taking any business downtime and turning off the old instances (ready to be terminated in 7 days time).  In doing so, the same idiot deployed the new instance in a brand new Production Virtual Private Cloud, deployed a new Loadbalancer and spread the three web servers across three availability zones.
All in all, this madness is “pure dead brilliant” …. a trick I picked up from Just Eat!”
Some stuff I found..
Might be a bit simplistic for some of you but some of you might find it useful!
Unbelievably, email is not dead!
“Ninety-nine point nine-nine percent of the food we eat is totally shitty for our bodies and for the environment,” Do you agree
The hackers win?
A very useful app if you have some ‘family’ photos that need to be encrypted and routed around any photo sharing cloud services. Or you could just take a Polaroid and pop it in the post!
Computer vision?
Android to be car ready.
I am breaking up for the Christmas holidays and won’t be back until the 5th January so I hope you and your families all have a fantastic time and Santa brings you what you need/desire/covet.
Thanks for a great year it really has been a blast!! Lets see if we can make 2015 even more fun and productive.

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