Chubby soldiers, cleaning men, France and separated at birth

You may or may not know that the British Army is struggling with an obesity crisis. This has been going on for some time. You may also be aware that our very own iOS wrangler Mr Frame was in the forces. He is very discreet about his service to his country, which I had always assumed to be as a result of some overwhelming modesty concerning heroic actions. However, I have uncovered the truth and have found that he fights shy of mentioning his military service due to the vast number of Court Martial’s he was subjected for deserting his post to go and snack. Here is a picture of him waddling off for yet another Court Martial for eating donuts instead of shooting at the enemy.

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Some men are really good at cleaning. They really are. I thought I would throw this little vignette of photos in to prove that most honourable members of the male of the sex do attempt to clean, but few excel in this noble endeavour like Meechan Jim. I think you can tell the good cleaners by the state of their desks. Jim is clearly at one end of the scale with Rich Davidson and Bobby T with a P at the other end. In case you were wondering he was cleaning up the mess left behind by Captain H who had attempted to ‘serve’ the attendees at the Lean Agile Scotland event. I believe Mrs Meechan Jim is a very happy lady.

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I was in France recently visiting my parents so I thought I would share with you a photo from what is a beautiful country, only blighted by its inhabitants. The visceral hatred of the English still shines through after all these years, evidenced by their insisting on speaking French and not having ‘English’ shops. By contrast the country is positively littered with ‘Irish’ shops. Here is one in Dijon, I didn’t go in because I didn’t need any potatoes, butter, Guinness or peat.

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Look at these two likely lads. Separated at birth or do their mums still do their shopping for them?  My 3 year old often sports a checked shirt that his mother insisted he wear as they carry a stain very well.

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The serious stuff you may want to read
A big thank you from me to the speakers at last night’s Agile Scotland event…. Leanne, Markos, Fen, Mike and Niels. Also a big thanks to Finnie for dealing with the bulk of the organisation. I will collate some photos and do a bit more of an update on the event next week.
We have a STAR in the team. Got this update from Pankaj.

“Pavani was awarded with the “Star of the moment award“ for her excellent work in Tesco Bank Town hall in HSC on 18 Nov 2014:


1) Pavani is doing a excellent job in SSCA middleware releases from last one year.

2) Her current contribution in the coding of Loans middleware component and with SSCA release is very well done.

3) She had shown interest in automated build and deployment too with the current scripting she completed for Loans and TBMB BWUnit testing in parallel to her coding work.”

Well done to Pavani.
From Ivan ‘Zero defects’ this week

People Collaborate, tools do not! Is JIRA turing into a chat tool

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Nice story on agile testing anti-patterns, “It is going to be a mess if every tester starts to think for himself!

Keith sent me this.

“There looks to be many good reasons to do this and if a newspaper thinks its worth doing surely a bank would also!”

Claude sent me this.
Markos sent me this.

“The tech industry has been involved so much in finance lately, it hurts.
If only we used a fraction of our annual budget and limited resources on pursuing ideas like these, leveraging our strengths as a bank.”
Detect anyone….?
Spotify, friend or foe of the music business?
Will cars get better as a result?
Is Net neutrality dead in Europe? I hope not….
 Have a great weekend every body. I look forward to seeing you on Monday.

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