Early doors drinking, police and cows, more LARPing and a lookalike

I expect most of you, when you wake up in the morning don’t have drinking opportunities at the forefront of your mind. Unless, of course, you happen to be an architect and it is a Friday. Yes, I found out where they go on Friday morning before they roll into the engine room to spend a day harassing arachnids. I happened to be cycling to work when I spotted a less than salubrious establishment that proudly displayed its early doors drinking opportunities. I believe they are proud purveyors of Scotland’s favourite wine based aperitif. Look, I think you can see one of them in the window….

2014-09-23 07.22.15 2014-09-23 07.22.36

Robert Thomson with a P has moved out of the Gorbals to live a life of bucolic bliss with the long suffering Mrs T with a P. He tells me it is very nice and just that little bit closer to the office which is always handy, however, I believe he hasn’t quite left behind all the bad big inner city habits that he has picked up. I.e., you can take the boy out of the Gorbals but you can’t….. How do I know this? Well he told me that other day that he had ‘to call the police about a cow’. I don’t think you have rough cows, even in Scotland, so I can only assume he was wandering around in a wine based aperitif induced stupor when he stumbled upon this cow and called the police to report it had been spray painted. I understand they were very understanding and just called his registered keeper, his wife, to take him away

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The Car Park LARPing club has become less and less ambitious as the months go by. These days they just contend themselves with rolling up their trouser legs and kicking a coloured cock around the car park. Guys if you are going to indulge in on the spectrum hobbies at least be out and proud about it like Tim ‘scary’ Lear. Look, here is a picture of him in a Star Wars outfit relaxing at home. I believe he was just off to tuck the children up in bed. LARPers all over the world I am sure are saluting his dedication to the cause. Tim, we have a relaxed policy on dress so feel free to come to the office dressed like this…

Sith

This weeks look a like is a corker. Andy Ryan and Morningside Maisie. Do you see the likeness?

Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 08.39.39Andy Ryan

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Ivan ‘Zero Defects’ with some great videos. I recommend you click the links

Another great video from Henrik Kniberg, Skyscanner did a talk at Lean Agile Scotland about how they had looked/used this model to solve the problem of how to scale their business (feature squads – just add more) , maintain their business output (cross functional teams, managers become coaches) and move to shorter deployments (experiment/spike/less complexity means faster). This may have been sheen over a painful process but at least they considered that to solve the problem the whole culture needs to change. I am convinced that cargo cult agile fails as the mindset around the cult never changes, this is evident in most of the TB job adverts, we basically hire the same mindset again and again.
https://labs.spotify.com/2014/09/20/spotify-engineering-culture-part-2/
One for the suits of which we have many!
http://www.cio.com/article/2433819/agile-development/7-agile-leadership-lessons-for-the-suits.html
“…THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, PEOPLE! YOU ARE IN SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT!….”
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Here are all the links to the Spotify engineering culture videos. If you are going to click on anything this week, make it these.

https://labs.spotify.com/2014/03/27/spotify-engineering-culture-part-1/
https://spotifylabscom.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/spotify-engineering-culture-part1.jpeg

https://labs.spotify.com/2014/09/20/spotify-engineering-culture-part-2/
https://spotifylabscom.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/spotify-engineering-culture-part2.jpeg
Interesting article from Richard ‘beard’ Davidson. Could we use this technology to mange some of our more disparate developments.

http://blogs.atlassian.com/2014/09/announcing-jira-portfolio-view-plan-manage-initiatives/?atl_medium=ACE&atl_campaign=ACE-365

You might want to read this article about Shellshock. Pretty good explanation of the problem.

http://www.extremetech.com/computing/190959-shellshock-a-deadly-new-vulnerability-that-could-lay-waste-to-the-internet

New starters

We have had a lot new starters recently. Here are some short intros from some of them.

Jeremy Birrell

An ex-developer who has spent rather a long time as an IT Architect. I have a background as a Techie working for Iona Technologies and Merrill Lynch and as an IT Architect within TescoBank GI and more recently Lloyds.
I’m looking forward to working in the Digital Architecture team where I can drag my skills, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.
Be gentle.
I play guitar, appallingly.

Grzegorz Janas
I am joining Tesco Bank from Skyscanner, where for around last 4 years I have been working on mobile native applications for iOS, Android, Windows Phone, Windows 8 and Blackberry. I started my journey with Skyscanner as a Software Test Engineer and changed my role to a Project Manager. I am a Certified ScrumMaster and I am looking forward to working with all of you on new, exciting projects. In my free time I like watching movies.

Matthew Healy
“Hello! I’m Matthew. I’m starting on the Digital Development graduate scheme. For most of the last year I was working as a software tester at Sumdog, which is an educational gaming website, and before that I studied mathematics at Edinburgh University. (I also did an internship with PwC as a tax accountant, though the less said about that the better, in all honesty.) When I’m not working I enjoy running, making music and drinking pour-over coffee (out of a mug in the shape of Darth Vader’s head, which is genuinely the coolest thing I own). “
Jean Power

I’m Jean, previously a clinical trial manager, currently a digital development graduate, and really excited about that. I did an MSc in Software Development in Glasgow and, before that, a degree in microbiology. Outside of work, I spend my time cooking and playing roller derby; two of my absolute favourite things to do. At some point, I’ll bring in my famous caramel shortbread, but I may have to get a bigger oven to supply the entire department.

Have a great weekend everybody …

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