More Dogging, Man Bags and a bit of strategy

Well we had the dog around for the weekend and he was ok but he did disappoint me in a number of ways. Firstly, he p###ed on the floor a couple of times, which did upset me as he very well knows this is mine and Josh’s job. Secondly, I went to a big effort to ‘man him up’ by entering him into a dog fight in one of the less salubrious suburbs of Leeds: Paul Flowers is normally seen knocking around it purveying a little crack and charlie prior to popping into the office for a solid day’s work. Anyway, I left the children in McDonalds and found some ruffians of the travelling type and bunged them a good wedge of the folding stuff and he was entered into the bi-monthly Gipton Semi Pro Extreme Dog Fighting competition, sponsored by White Lightening.  I quite fancied his chances, as I believed his King Charles spaniel and Poodle gene mix would make him a bit of a player so I put a ‘monkey’ on him. Imagine my surprise when he got in the ring with Tyson Rizla III and rolled onto his back for a tickle. Look at him, surely he is a natural born fighter? 


Another question for you. One of these is capable of following simple commands. Which one do you think it is?


Bags. Some people have bags that they like to sling over their shoulders. Mainly women I find, who fill them with all sorts of ‘stuff’. As an aside, I would like to offer some advice to the younger male readers of this blog/email/work of fiction. Do not under any circumstances offer, or find yourself in a situation where you have to, find something in a handbag, for example keys. What will happen is after an indecent period of time you will not find what you are looking for and it will end in a row that you will lose.  And your abilities as a basic functioning human being will be called into question in a shrill manner. Anyway, some of these ladies have really flamboyant handbags but not as flamboyant as this one. It raises many questions. Who does it belong to, did they steal it from the estate of Liberace and just plain why?


Does anyone know why Stefan has turned up in the office dressed like this….


The IT Digital Strategy work is in full swing. It is shaping around Continuous Delivery, Service Orientated Architecture and API gateways. The first part we are looking to tackle, not just in Digital but across the whole of IT, is continuous delivery. We had a workshop yesterday with Alan Hyndman, Mike Gray, Neil McMahon, Nathan McKweon, Mike Melville, Mike Ritchie and Mark Plumer where we looked at the tool set required for continuous delivery and agreed, very importantly, how we will be delivering applications into the process. I was pleasantly surprised at the drive and passion in the room to do the right thing. When we get Continuous Delivery into the bank we will be the first bank to do this, so I am very excited about this.  If you want to know a little more about Continuous Delivery this is a really good article;

I have also asked Nathan Mckweon to come up and speak to us about the work that the configuration team have been doing with SVN and other parts of the bank, more particularly FRMIT. 

We profess to be a Digital Bank but we are not unique in this. Not sure if you have heard of Atom but they are worth having a look at as I believe we will see more and more of this type of bank. They are a real threat that reinforces our need to move much more quickly than we do today. Note their professed focus on mobile and cost reduction.

We have some new starters this week. Say hello to Iain McCloud and  Robert Connors who have joined the permanent team as Java developers. Iain is already buried in Loans and Savings and Robert has joined the Wallet team.  We have also had Dave Saunders join the team, at very short notice (well done Paul and Lizzie) as a Front End Developer. I am sure you will all make them all feel at home. 

I would like to echo Lizzie’s plea for fewer anonymous people/project post it notes. If you are a little shy you could use this…


Ivan Zero Defects is on leave.


I am sure you won’t be surprised to hear that I think we have too much bureaucracy in the bank. Something we all need to work on eliminating as much as we can so here are some good tips.

Good article on NoSQL.

If you are an iPhone user or care about what products the great god at Cupertino pushes out you may be interested in this. Those who mocked the size of my phone note how everything is getting bigger.

Hilarious but uncomfortably close to the truth. I particularly like the designer. I have met a few like this.

  TheMichaelMoranDon’t look at this picture. You will have nothing but questions: 10:18

I am in Edinburgh this weekend with Louise and the children which I am very much looking forward to. Lets hope the weather is good and that mysterious fire in the sky comes out. I am also taking next week off so there will be no drivel making its way into your inbox next week. 

Have a good weekend and Easter break. 


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