Pricey Pussies, Mad Mia and a BIG Weekend

Firstly, may I give you something dull? Rob T had the audacity to admit he didn’t really read the interesting stuff at the bottom of the weekly blog/newsletter/illogical rant and that this was my fault. It was my fault because I put all the interesting stuff first so he generally just read this and then deleted the email. He suggested that I could stop this by putting dull stuff first. So for the benefit of Rob here is a nice picture of a brick wall. Enjoy!

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Pricey Pussies! What could I be talking about? Well one of the team let it slip that they were a little distracted the other morning and this caused them to forget their reading glasses. When asked what distracted them they surprised the audience by letting it be known they were letting the cats out of the house and into their specially built run. I personally have never heard of cats having a special run, unless of course they are of the dangerous Captain Haphazard wrestling variety of big cat. I was reliably informed that they are Siberian cats  and they need a special run for their own protection because they are pricey and people steal them. I did a quick Google and found out that they  are ‘cats for dog’ people in that they ‘like’ their owners unlike bog standard cats who mouth ’t##t at their human owners every time they see them, I believe. Begs the question, why you wouldn’t just get a dog? I won’t mention their name but they like colourful trousers, have an Italian surname and like building Android apps. Just a thought, maybe we could start a pointless cats section or will that generate too much hate mail?

Mad Mia. Not in a bark at the moon kind of way even though I think the more arcane features of the Android operating system may push her in that direction but the angry, shouty get out of my way kind of mad. You wouldn’t have thought it from talking to her but she let slip to me the other day a darker side to her personality. How did she do this? She told me she likes listening to The Alphabet, a little known indie group. Why? Well they couple a beautiful melodic female vocal with really angry lyrics and she particularly likes the angry bit. Be very careful with what you say to Mia thats all I am saying. 

I am off home today in preparation for a big weekend, hence you are getting this a day earlier! Unfortunately, it doesn’t involve getting rid of the children, going somewhere, consuming nice food and alcohol and maybe something else if I have been a good boy. I will be going somewhere but it is back to work for the first of the PCA launches. I will be in the office overnight Saturday/Sunday with what feels like most the bank, more specifically, from the Digital Development team Rob T, Douglas P, Tony C, Jim M, Keith G, Martin K, Gary L, Mark P and Stefan H. I would like to say a really big thank you to all you, I appreciate the sacrifice you are making particularly as nobody ever died wishing they had spent more time in the office. I promise to try and not be too annoying particularly as I don’t do boredom very well and I am hoping that we will be bored! 

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Ivan Zero Defects corner. 

I hate bug databases and the pain when people build processes to handle failure. http://testobsessed.com/2012/08/bugs-spread-disease/
Anything that is built to collect failure is negative. This way of working is forced on teams that burn the toast then scrape it afterwards, it’s a very expensive. People arguing for hours over the priority of bugs, 3 months after the code was implemented, based on a out of date requirement gathering dust in a dead-tree document.
If you are working on a project that creates mountains of bugs then that project is broken, everybody has a responsibility to “stop the line” and fix it,  everybody owns quality,  read principle 5 of the Toyota Way  http://www.toyotaway.com  one of the building blocks of scrum. A bug to me is a process escape, a missed scenario, lack of an automated pipeline, ambiguous requirements.
“Cease dependence on inspection to achieve quality. Eliminate the need for massive inspection by building quality into the product in the first place.” Reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._Edwards_Deming
In our world this means Pairing, TDD, BDD, Specification By Example, Demos. All forms of continuous feedback loops. Not inspection at the end…
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Ivan also let his hair down and showed me his fun side when he sent this across. It is the ‘Cynical Agile Scrum Dictionary’. I particularly like the definition of 
DevOps
a new breed of professionals who can write “Hello World” and deploy it to Heroku
I am really looking to seeing Mark and the boys do this. 
 http://www.yuriy-zubarev.com/blog/2012/04/24/cynical-agile-scrum-dictionary.html
<The Greek corner

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From the inimitable Markos….

http://appurify.com/amp/auto/

https://www.dropbox.com/s/914tpuub3ifoqkw/Appurify%20Performance%20Automation%20Whitepaper.pdf

end of Greek corner>

Nice little article on DevOps and why its the ‘fault’ of Open Source.

http://devops.com/features/devops-its-all-open-sources-fault/

According to this post, readers will only actually read 28% of the words on a page. Why create so much if it might not even be read, especially as developing content is a really pricey business. 
http://www.searchenginejournal.com/visual-storytelling-data-visualization-content-marketing-fairytale/92513/

You may not believe it but the Internet is just a shade younger than Lesley and Margarita. Yes it is 25. Please read the following link, the usual great insight from John Naughton.
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/mar/09/25-years-web-tim-berners-lee?CMP=twt_gu

Somebody I used to work with Tweeted this. Don’t ask me why on earth he is called Dogcatcher. 

  DogcatcherOne of the more up-market short-time venues – apparently. Aptly named though. http://t.co/FljCSKfvld07/03/2014 15:48

Enjoy the weekend.

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