The colour purple, flamboyant desserts and shopping for beds

The colour purple? Or the dev lan as you may know it. We have some AR-DHCP cable, see picture below, that now denotes  our lovely Dev Lan. Please ensure that any non-standard machines, i.e. good ones that enable you to develop, are plugged into these cables. We don’t want any DHCP servers broadcasting IP addresses now do we! 

Some people like the simple things in life. I do, I often think about the Einstein quote “any intelligent fool can make things better and more complicated….’ and try to apply this to my thinking. I also like a simple dessert, nothing fancy, maybe a little cheese and some biscuits or if I am feeling a little racy a lemon sorbet. So you can imagine my surprise when this desert landed on the table in front of the person sitting next to me on Wednesday night. It looks more like a chemical weapon, extravagant marital aid or at the very least something designed by a greedy child on LSD. I won’t give away the exact identity of the person consuming this flamboyant monstrosity but they are renowned for their rare ability with barcodes. I would recommend a 275 mile run to burn off the calories. 


I have it on good authority that Fen took Mark shopping for a bed! I have no idea what this means but does Mrs Fen know? Mark also presented Margarita with an enormous shopping list of bedding, which she dutifully trotted off to purchase, then drove to the office and put in the boot of his car. He hasn’t yet seen what was bought so he could end up with more scatter cushions than is desired by the male of the species. On top of this he is gathering together a group of people from the office to help him move in to his new flat on Monday. I have no idea how he manages to get all these people running around after him? I am beginning to think of him less as an IT professional and more as an arch manipulator in the mould of a Moriarty.

We have purpose, lots of it. We also have a ‘purpose’. Just to remind you IT Development’s purpose is

“Build and lead a world class IT capability to shape and
deliver solutions that provide for current and future customer needs”

Whilst the complimentary purpose of the Digital Development team is

To deliver and support Digital solutions that give value to Tesco. Providing leadership in technical and delivery innovation. We celebrate success and encourage continuous improvement.

If anybody has any questions about what our purpose means or thinks it needs improving do let me know. As we discussed at the team meeting we will also be rolling out a team who’s purpose is to implement some practical steps in relation to encouraging adoption of the Tesco leadership skills.

Apparently Facebook is a virus. I think of it more as a festering sore as I sit ignored by Louise whilst she gorges on ‘useful information’ provided by the denizens of Facebook she has a tenuous algorithm driven relationship with. Anyway, a team of researchers have used their epidemiological model to suggest that Facebook is at peak and will die off very quickly just like a virulent outbreak. I am not sure I believe it, I mean where else would people get the vital information of modern life that is cat pictures, mishappen genitial like <insert>, homespun wisdom that is anything but, updates on what people are eating/have eaten, interesting family facts that are not interesting……

Irn-Bru banned.Yes those crazy Canadians, have among things, banned Irn-Bru (as an aside why not Iron Brew – its not difficult to spell?) for having horrible additives. I am not sure what the effect of these additives are but there are many drinkers in the team so maybe we can discern through observation.


Ivan Zero Defects section. 

Great quote from Ivan to prefix the next article, also very true

“The move towards more and more mobile technology breaks the traditional off-shore test model as customers expect shorter release cycles for mobile tech, the old model cannot cope with this so many companies will have to start moving back to on-shore internal solutions as testing is embedded into one delivery pipeline to the app stores.”

We have to get some of these and start experimenting. I have it on good authority that lots of companies are looking at Beacons and it could be a nail in the coffin of NFC. For example, Worldpay are sending out Beacon developer kits.

Surprising news.

This the reality in a lot places that have attempted to adopt Agile. This must be guarded against. I can already see some of this creeping in when I talk to people in TB about Agile.

Want to teach your children to code? Try this kickstarter project. I will be giving it a go but I am not sure Sophia will thank me.

>100 million test cases per day. If they followed our practices they would have to hire India, all of it. Some show off stats from Google.

Have a good weekend everybody.


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